It's one of the things I've been struggling with and something someone said tonight clicked and made this sort out in my mind.
There's supposed to be a balance here and I wasn't sure I was liking the answers I was being told. The balance between trusting in the Lord and enduring to the end on my own.
On the one side, you have the person (like me often) that wants to make it on their own power, wants to try their best and not ask for help. And on the other side, you have the person that sits back on their haunches and says, "God will take care of it. If it's His will, it'll be done."
Both have their good sides, but I didn't like either. Tonight though, someone said, "If I fall, He is there to catch me." It was a small side note on the general topic, but it hit me hard due to one of the other lessons I had just learned not terribly long ago.
There was that time I wrote about on here where I blacked out and was therefore forced to be weak in front of others. And that night I learned the valuable lesson that if I fell, they really would catch me...a thought that had not occurred to me before that time.
So, tonight it really hit.
"If I fall, He is there to catch me."
If I was so amazed at the fact that my friends would catch me from a physical fall, then how much greater was it to realize that there was someone there to catch me from my spiritual falls?
And in turn that answered my balance question. Because it is right to try your hardest, to swim as far as possible, to test your limits and grow... but then in the end, comes the change I need to make. When I fall and fail, because I will, then I know that is where grace begins and humility is the key.
Guess that was one of the blessings with this sickness. How else would I have really understood what it meant to have someone who would catch me?
