So many things have been changing so fast...it's rather difficult to keep up sometimes. I'm changing much of what I believe and reaffirming what I still might maintain.
Religion, relationships, goals....they're all being questioned once more.
But the answers I am finding appear to be more of the right ones. I'm passing tests I never thought I could before now. Though my feet hesitate for now, my steps are becoming firm once more.
Some things do not change. I still often feel like a dog among herd animals and wild animals. Not quite fitting into either, simply running around, sniffing through the undergrowth and barking at the sky. I still do not understand the grouping instinct in the same matter as it seems most of my peers do. Many seem to understand that it is safer, more secure, and more pleasant to be part of a group and on the other hand many like the idea of standing out, of being the anti-crowd member. Yet, to be honest, I don't quite get either and I'm starting to thing I'm not really supposed to. It's a painful and embarrassing process, but I'm learning how to acknowledge the way I function naturally as well as I can.
...I just feel so lost much of the time...and I don't know what I can trust. I'm afraid of running in the wrong direction...a fear I believe is valid.
Well, it will be what it will be, as Katrina always tries to remind/convince me.
