Plays, concerts, movies, dance nights, dinners... you name it and it's going on all over Bozeman. Sometimes it's quite a challenge just do decide what to choose to go to.
Well, last night I volunteered for the Bozeman Symphony as an usher. You get to see people, dressed up and starry-eyed, excited to enjoy a wonderful fine art and a night displaying the talented musicians and what can be done when an orchestra works together.
I, myself, was blown away by what they did. Eyes opened or closed, I was in another world entirely. A world of music, of light and flashes of silver, bronze, and white. It's hard to explain, but when the music is that good, it feels like I can really think. Like my mind opens up and at the same time, nothing can distract me. A feeling I don't really get elsewhere.
It was while I was thinking during the last piece, that an analogy came to me. I felt the strong urge to be one of the performers up there. Not for glory or money (hah!) but simply to be part of making something so... beautiful, majestic...heavenly, I suppose. I wanted to be a part of it, so badly, that I began asking myself, "How would I go about that?"
Of course, you would ask the director.
And that's where the analogy started. I realized then that the conductor is the one who tells each person to come in, back off, grow louder... everything really. And this director was also the judge of whether or not each part was played in accordance with his plan. Also, he was the one who planned it because at this particular performance, they were playing some songs he wrote.
I imagined God in that place and each instrument section as a religion. Each had their part to play in the grand sound, and each was "worshipping" in the capacity which they could be the best they could be.
But everyone was playing for the same team. Sure, until they came together, they won't know what sound the director had already envisioned, but they played with faith. And the result was magnificent.
I wanted to be up there too. So, what instrument does he want me to play? I sent out to the air. What do I play?
But as long as I trust the director, I can live with not knowing until I'm already playing. It was just learning to humble myself enough to play with the rest of the orchestra.
