So far I've tried this on a lot of different desired attributes, and I had concluded that the two most dangerous ones were "strength" and "faith." But after asking for "more patience"...I've gotta say, it's right up there too.
Strange as it is for me to admit it, one of the hardest parts of this trial has been my own emotional state. Stress, I'm really getting used to. Busy beyond belief is regular too. But having a close friend and having them out of reach for the really tough times...that's a trial in and of itself.
It's hard to explain, but I guess since I went without having a friend like this for so long, I didn't realize how hard it was. Like when I've had a hard day. I perk up because I have a friend that will understand and listen if I really need to talk (and often has the answers I need to hear). So, the skip comes into my step and I start to smile only to realize that I'm actually on my own. It shouldn't be how I feel, since mentally I know that I'm never truly alone; but it is.
On the plus side, I think I passed a few of my tests in patience (not all of them, but golly, that sort of endurance will take a while to build up). Like the one where I received a nasty note for doing something that person always asks me to do. It was in the morning when I found it and I took a lot of time to draft a reply and treat the person as if they were the ones that needed comforting. After I was done, I got that warm feeling of "well done." And afterwards I found out that they did in fact need comforted. It's kinda scary to think what would have happened had I pushed the other way and responded angrily.
Once I recover from this past week, I'll probably pray again for patience...Gee, for being a quick learner, I sometimes do things very much to the contrary.
