Almost a week ago, a guy from my church asked if I'd be up for being part of his worship team. I said yes without thinking really, but it's probably good I did or perhaps I wouldn't have said yes after the nerves set in.
I'm not sure what to expect, since just six weeks ago I got plunged into my first instrumental ensemble with the Gamelan and that...well, let's just say I was mighty humbled from that experience.
It's a new culture, I suppose is why I'm nervous. It's like a linguist moving to live in a country of one of their learned languages. I know there are going to be customs and things I'm not going to know and it's scary to know that I can't really prepare for that. I'm afraid I won't be good enough or I'll ruin the experience for the rest of the band.
Oh man... I just remembered: Worry is a sin, too.
If this is for worship, maybe one of the things that I need to learn is to let go. It's for Him and if I give Him the best I've got and continually do so as I grow, then that's what's important.
My fear is that I will not be strong enough for myself or that my pride will be hurt. I still have a long way to go in some of these lessons.
This is my offering. He'll give me the strength I need and I'll give Him the best I can. He's given me so much already, sometimes I have to remember not to depend on those gifts while forgetting the giver.
Now I understand once more. He gave me all I have and now I get a chance to offer my music back to Him.
That was unexpected. I wanted excitement to take over, but instead I am filled with peace, acceptance, and gratitude. It's one of those "Praise God" moments. He knows better than I.
