When I was 5 years old, I had already read many books. Children's books, but it got me thinking that with all the information coming in, I should make sure to set a time aside for thinking. Since I was 5 years old and it was summer, I decided to make that the pattern for my time off to think. (And yes, I have been told that this is strange. But I was a strange kid. Still am, in fact.) I had already realized life was very cruel and hard. And I had realized that I wanted to be a force for good. I also vowed to never lose my childlike self even if I managed to survive to be old.
When I was 10 years old, I remembered this idea of taking a summer off for thought and I was going through a difficult time (I think I started being a teenager early) and so, I realized that taking a summer in which I did not babysit or tutor, but simply thought about things and decided life direction was a really good idea. I spent the whole summer thinking and realized characteristics I wanted and didn't want. I also decided firmly that I wanted a dog, since I had to finally admit I was not naturally good with people, but still believed that I could be someone's friend. I also decided I was different in many ways from most of the people I knew and that it was time to just get over that. Within a year, many of the changes I had thought about started coming into play.
When I was 15 years old, I was grateful for the "Sabbatical Summer" seeing as I was becoming overwhelmed with electronics, best friendship, working, and Sweet Adelines. I was learning to hug people, I was doubting God, I was concerned with who I was becoming and what my career path would be. I did a few performances, but overall took the summer off and often hung out with Jo-Anne. She needed at least 6 more hours of sleep per night than I did, so this gave me quite a lot of time to think. It also gave me the chance to ask opinions and questions from someone very different from myself. I decided a few things after thinking. I decided to be all right with the idea of friendship with people. I decided to do my best at every religious thing I was asked to do, but no longer have any heart for it. And I decided that the traditional college/mission/marriage paths would not quite work for me and that I was all right with that. There were other things, but those were some of the things that I took the next year implementing.
When I was 20 years old, I took the Sabbatical Summer in Portland. Jo-Anne wanted to go to China and I offered to take care of the place while she was gone. I worked, but mostly I spent time reading and in my head. I had already started exploring many religions in the years previous. And over that summer, I decided to seek the truth, no matter what it was. I would test everything to see if it really matched the real world regardless of my feelings towards it. I was lost as far as direction went in my life. I'd lost quite a few close people to cancer and car accidents and was hurting. I decided then that if a friend was thrust upon me in next to supernatural circumstances, I would take it, but otherwise, I was pretty done getting close to people. I took out a map, put my finger down and it landed on Bozeman, MT, so I decided to move there next and take a year off while trying to decide if I really wanted to go to school. It depended on a few factors (which I'll leave between God and I for now, but needless to say, He took care of every one on the list).
Within a year, God had thrust a friend at me (though I didn't know it was Him at the time) that I found hard to resist. She was smart, wise, witty, reserved, talented, and I found myself opening up to her naturally in a way I hadn't experienced before. I had tested many schools of thought and religions and all but a few had fallen through entirely. And the list of things that needed to happen before school did. Also, I fell in love with Bozeman enough to start thinking of it as a home. Before long, I was a Christian despite my best intentions otherwise and I had a close best friend.
Now, I am 25 years old and just took my Sabbatical Summer. So, I worked less, went hiking, and took a lot of time to think. This summer was different than the others, though. I walked and talked with God on things. It was deep, personal, intimate, and satisfying. And on the other side, sure, I had things I had decided, but God was the one to change my heart. Sometimes He does things slowly, but some times (like this one), He does the changes quickly. Many of my professors who knew me 4 months ago have commented on the changes. The transformation is so deep that many of my choices are surprises to even me. I am not who I was a month ago in many ways. I am not exactly sure what God has in mind for this, but I guess if I look a little more like Jesus, it all is worth it.
So there you go, I am at the beginning of the year of change that follows a Sabbatical Summer. And never before have I been so excited to see what will happen next.
