I've never slowed down before. Not even close to this. Broken bones, pneumonia, concussions, deaths...nothing got me to pause. I was always fighting to fill my time with as much as possible.
Even at Carol's home, I did not wish to waste such a precious commodity, even if I had nothing else I could do but lie still. And when I went home, things were no different. I tried keeping up with all my classes and extra things, jumping right back into the fray.
There are some lessons that have an initial lesson, but require time to get the deeper stuff. And I think I've often missed that in my thirsting and hungering for knowledge.
How precious time is has been this deepening lesson for me. I knew time was precious before, that's why I wanted to fill every moment because I've nearly died enough times to know how short it is. But never before did I understand the real worth of it.
Time can equal peace if we allow it to. Not just comfort-based in-the-moment sort of peace, but a real shift in our internal rhythm. Time can be perspective and wisdom if allowed to settle. Where before there were facts, they morph into understanding.
And best of all, is when there's enough time to realize that time can become meaningless if put in the context of God. It took my slowing down to fully begin to understand that He lives outside this dimension, which means that we are with Him now and forever and that time will not change that fact. When I was filling every moment, I suppose I didn't appreciate that He is unchanging no matter what.
Time put into relationships, deepens those too. But if we're too busy filling or wasting time, then we're working on the surface of things or on the breadth of things. I guess this is the sort of thing you learn if you make it to old age. When things slow down you start to discover the worlds underneath. Oh boy. And to think God is unending too. This journey is going to be wonderful.
