First of all, it's a rather hard job. You get all sorts of crap from the guests, your coworkers, and unfortunately, most of all, your bosses. Then the pressure of the job itself is there.
One of the things I was well known for before was my good attitude, but it's nothing compared to now. Most of the coworkers that have mentioned it figure they just don't remember just how nice it was to be around me at work, but I know that my attitude has changed for the better. I have more patience, for one thing, even than I did then. I also have a wide array of puns and I'm not afraid to use them. :~)
My humility has increased since accepting Grace, which happened this last year. I feel that I can deal with a lot of things because I know what I've been given and how much I don't deserve it.
And at the same time, my confidence has shot up, but with out the usual co-virtue of pride. I just know that I am working harder and better and I have no fear of my supervisors like I used to. In other words, I've grown into myself. I am who I am and am not afraid.
Then physically. When I first started the Hilton, I was way out of shape and housekeeping got me into it. Then over this school year, between Carol and I's workouts, my own workouts, and the general workouts of life, I've grown in physical capability since even last summer. I didn't realize this because I'm always just pushing through things without thinking about what good they are actually doing for me.
But today, I rode my bike really fast for miles without breaking a sweat. Then I worked at 1.5 times the speed of a fast housekeeper for a full shift. Then I went on a hike with the Kankelborgs and was still energetic when we decided to head back. I even raced Emma (okay, so by race #7 I was admittedly getting tired) and won a few times.
Then when I was thinking about it, I realized that at the end of last summer I barely had the energy to do a shift as a regular speed housekeeper and then I'd walk home and rest. And then, to compare to when I very first started at the Hilton, walking the 3 miles to the Hilton exhausted me.
And the biggest change I've noticed is how "light" I am. I'm not afraid, for God is with me and now I know it. And I've got faith that He'll lead me where He wants me to go when it's time, so I'm willing to hand over my control to Him. So, no fear and willing to submit control to Someone other than myself.
And that's something I've never had in my life before.
So, this returning has felt like a measuring stick. There are plenty of challenges to my faith and plenty of opportunities to find if I will choose a truly "Christian" way in difficult circumstances.
And the cool thing is, I feel like I'm measuring up to who I want to be, given my human limitations, and I know God's got the rest.
