So, Carol and I got together again today. I got two more concepts better than I had before and wanted to put one on here for further thinking.
That thing I asked was on how to take compliments. I had no clue as to how to do it because normally I deflect them. Like in the car with Nancy I was deflecting hers, but then when Carol complimented me...I felt like I couldn't deflect them, so I had no idea what to do.
She told me of some of the problems we generally have with compliments and what true humility is all about. One of the problems is, “I don't want to take any credit because I feel like all credit should go to God, so I've got to avoid compliments.” The thing with that is to not be ashamed of who God made you to be. All glory does go to Him and you can remember that, but trying to avoid compliments is like trying to bury that talent that He gave you. Which, as He even points out, is exactly what you're not supposed to do. So you take the compliment and mentally acknowledge that every thing that you have is from Him and if you really understand that, taking the compliment's just fine.
Another problem is fear of pride. I had this one with all the musical stuff. It's so easy to have “singer's ego” or “performer's pride” and I have a lot of instruments to do so on. It's not like the criticism or compliment would stop or encourage my playing, just make me afraid that I'd be bloated with pride if I got too many compliments.
That's when she brought up what humility really is. She said, “To some musicians, they can enjoy a piece of music just as much if someone else plays it as if they themselves had played it.” I nodded and said that's how it was for me like how I had enjoyed hearing her flute recital about as much as if I had played it myself. She said she had thought that I was one of those and said, “But to many musicians it's not the same. They get jealous of others playing well. Their personal idea of their talent is threatened by others.”
I thought about this, her words ringing true. “So, that's the singer's ego then,” I said, finally getting it. She agreed and I continued to place it all in place. It made sense why it existed. And it made sense why I did not have it myself. I had been told that I didn't, but I didn't know why.
Humility is not fear. Not fear of your success and not fear of others' success. It's knowing that all good things come from God. That knowledge cancels out fear and pride.
She said to have an accurate idea of who I really am helps immensely. To not pretend to be better or worse than you are, just to be truly you.
