"If the map doesn't agree with the ground, the map is wrong." --Gordon Livingston

2/12/2014

Physicist Cat Nip

So, I haven't posted here in a while. Honestly, I've just been happily back home, trying to get my fill of Montana after so long of being away. I figure that I'll want to know some of the little things later to make me laugh, so here is one moment from this afternoon.

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Today there was a pile of old electronics (junk) with a note explaining how one of the professors was cleaning out his lab and this was the stuff so old it was off the lists and they weren't sure whether the items even worked or not since they'd been in storage for so many decades. All for free.

My student and I sat down for tutoring after I had taken my time inspecting all of the 80's and 90's gear. She told me I was weird for thinking it was interesting. To her the stuff was obviously junk. I told her that I was not strange in the physics world for that quirk and she would see what I meant just shortly.

We started tutoring and one of my classmates stopped to look at the pile, saying things like, “What's inside of... oooh! A variable resistor with...oh just look at the connections on those batteries...”

I responded with, “Yeah, and did you see the rating band on those resistors?” 

He opened the casing again and exclaimed, “My goodness! Are those silver 10%'s? I've only read about those! Everything's at 5% now.”

My student gaped at us and said, “I stand corrected, Jen. You're not weird. You both are weird.”

But even as she said that, another guy walked up and said, “Is that a computer speaker set from the 80's? What...for free?! Might even work! Just feel the weight of that power coupling!”

I responded, “Yeah, did you see the frequency generator? It's ancient. Right over there.” He and the first guy looked where I pointed and started speaking geek like a native tongue.

One of the guys said, “Aw man. I kinda want to take this apart right here!”

I looked up and said, “Just for clarification, you don't carry a screwdriver set on you at all times, right?”

He responded, “Sadly. No. I'll need to go over to my locker. That would be kinda cool if I did, though...”

I laughed, “It would! Charles nearly always carries his lock picking kit on him.”

Both nerds exclaimed, “That's so awesome!”

My student interjected, “So, does it make you cool in the nerd world to have old electronics on you or in your home? Like a retro car is cool and antique? ”

My classmate thought about it and we both said, “No. Not really. Actually, it's kinda the opposite...”

At that point, I think she gave up on us entirely.

I went back to tutoring and soon enough, a couple professors came out, marveling at the pile of junk with their students. Nerds of many ages would come and go, hauling off stuff to be tested or tampered with, wearing expressions of combined glee and curiosity.

Finally during a lull in people, Margaret came out and amusedly eyed the pile of junk. She asked me, “So, how big did the pile start?” And I told her how big it was at 2pm when I arrived (Probably 10 times what is was at 2:45pm).

I told Ty (my student) how Margaret was the secretary of the Physics building and by incredible magic powers manages to keep all of those Physics professors in line.

She smiled and said, “It's like herding cats, but I love them all.”

Ty, recognizing someone who was not enthralled with a pile of retro electronics junk, asked, “So, you've been around here a lot, right? So you understand these people?”

Margaret said, “Well, I've learned many of the...characteristic qualities... of them, yes.”

Ty nodded, “So. tell me...is it normal for all these physicists to be fascinated by that stuff? I mean, it's junk!”

She laughed and said, “Oh yes! Piles of electronics that may or may not work and free food. Those are the things that get them out of their labs and into the daylight.”

I pointed out, “Actually, I think the pile of junk may get more attention than the free food.”

Margaret nodded with a sigh, “Yeah. Probably. Since, many don't actually come out to eat.”

Ty slowly nodded and said, “So, if your job is herding cats...this is like physicist cat nip, right?”

After a moment of thought, we realized Ty was absolutely spot on. A substance that we would sense, come out of our dens to sniff and consume, then run off excited with pieces of it...

We watched a few more people come up and laughed heartily by imagining them as cats with a pile of cat nip.

Man, it's a good thing that we don't take ourselves too seriously.