Thursday, I went on a great hike with 3 wonderful Christ-like ladies, one of which I had only heard stories about, but never met before.Near the beginning of the hike, Stacy (my friend on the far left), told this lady, Sharon (to my right), that I had just had a terrible bike accident since I usually forget to mention it to new people. Sharon was interested and asked me to tell the whole story which I outlined for her. She said, "Wow. Well, at least that's over. And with only two surgeries." I confessed that it had been 4 surgeries so far with one more to go.
She's a believer too, so she wasn't too surprised at my happiness. But she was surprised when I said, "After the first time I was told I needed more surgery, I was depressed. The next time, it was worse, but then the third time, I realized the real lesson that He gives and takes away."
Sharon (I sure came to love that girl) said, "Oooh! Tell me more!"
I told her that my worst time during all of this was my best time. I told her about the night after surgery, just a few days after I got hit, when we planned poorly and had me totally off pain pills. I called and called for someone to help and they didn't hear. I was stripped of everything. I was out of my mind with pain. I couldn't move. I could hardly breathe. My mind was crippled. And my help was not answering my desperate yells. There was nothing left, but prayer.
That was when I prayed. The pain did not leave, there was no miraculous healing. My mind still was confused and help still did not come. But God filled me. He filled me with so much spirit that I can never forget it. And I realized that everything I had was His, but even if I had nothing to give, He loved me the same.
And also, I fully realized, God's more than enough for all of me. A wheelchair isn't the end of the world, as funny as that sounds. And I can face being stripped of everything because God fills what I can't fill anyway.
Sharon was surprised. When I told her that I'd learned a lesson, she wasn't expecting the lesson to be so deep coming from one so young.
And it's not just blind faith. I am not lightly saying, "Here am I." The pain of seeing yourself as bad as you really are hurts terribly. And this life holds pain as well. But He is my strength, comfort, and hope. And that's why i can fully accept all He gives and takes away.
